How to give and receive compliments at work

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 Whether you are a manager or an individual contributor, giving and receiving compliments plays a critical role in building and maintaining relationships at work. When done well, a compliment is one of the most powerful ways to let someone know that we value and appreciate them. Yet, these seemingly positive interactions can be surprisingly tricky to navigate for both giver and receiver alike. Some of my earliest research, published as “What to Do When Praise Makes You Uncomfortable,” revealed that although the number one thing people associate with being recognized is feeling valued (88%), nearly 70% of people associated embarrassment or discomfort with the process of both giving and receiving.



Although compliments should be a positive experience — and most of the time they are — in my research, I have found the process of giving and receiving compliments often brings up a lot of anxiety for everyone involved. Givers express worries of being seen as a kiss-up, having their compliment misinterpreted, or triggering jealousy in others. On the receiving end, people feel they don’t deserve it, question the giver’s intentions, or worry that they won’t be able to produce the same result in the future.


I have found there are methods of both giving and receiving a compliment that help cut through some of these barriers and make the experience more comfortable and trust-building. While it may seem counterintuitive, in order to get better at giving compliments we must first get better at receiving them.


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